It’s Halloween in the NFL and there’s no shortage of monsters lurking on and off the field. From cursed kickers and petrifying pass rushers to concussed quarterbacks coming back from the dead, the gridiron can be a ghastly place.
Even sports bettors are getting in on the Halloween fright, haunted by bad beats and last-second field goals that ruin parlays. The NFL has everything a scary story needs. If football were a horror movie, bettors would be the ones yelling at the screen.
So, what would happen if the NFL decided to throw a massive Halloween party? You can bet the costumes would be legendary! In the spirit of this year’s spooky season, we’re handing out costumes to some of the NFL’s biggest names.
From heroes to horror stories, here’s how your favourite players are showing up to the party.
Tyreek Hill, Dolphins WR
Costume: The Flash
It only makes sense that Tyreek would be the first one to arrive, since he’s one of the fastest players the league has ever seen. The Flash costume is perfect for the Dolphins wide receiver, since he runs routes faster than the speed of light. He may be temporarily slowed by a season-ending knee injury, but that doesn’t mean he won’t be zipping around the dance floor all night long.
Patrick Mahomes, Chiefs QB
Costume: NFL Referee
Everyone likes to joke about how the refs are secretly helping the Chiefs win, so Mahomes showing up to the party in zebra stripes is sure to get a few laughs. Things were looking scary for Kansas City this season, but the three-time Super Bowl MVP has guided his team out of the darkness and into the light. Equipped with a rocket arm and great athleticism, Mahomes doesn’t need help from the refs to win games…but it can’t hurt.
Brian Branch, Lions S
Costume: Rocky
Branch’s Rocky costume is a perfect fit after his Week 6 altercation with Kansas City’s JuJu Smith-Schuster. The third-year pro landed a few good jabs in the postgame scuffle, leaving ‘TikTok Boy’ battered and bloody. While he was ultimately suspended for one game, his fighting skills made for some great entertainment and would have made Rocky proud.
Drake Maye, Patriots QB
Costume: Captain America
Instead of being drafted by the army, Maye was drafted by the Patriots and hasn’t looked back since. New England was in desperate need of a leader ever since Tom Brady left Foxborough and Maye has come to the team’s rescue just like Steve Rogers. Now in his second season as the starting quarterback, the young signal-caller has grown into the role so well you’d think he was given a secret serum.
Mike McDaniel, Dolphins HC
Costume: Firefighter
With Dolphins fans calling for him to be fired, nobody knows what the hot seat feels like more than Mike McDaniel. Dressing up in a firefighter costume is a great way to beat the heat, especially since the Miami head coach has been putting out fires all season long. With a tablet in one hand and a fire extinguisher in the other, he’ll be ready to heat up the dance floor. Because if there’s one NFL head coach who likes to party, it’s probably Mike McDaniel.
Jonathan Taylor, Colts RB
Costume: Thomas the Tank Engine
With the way Taylor has been running over defenders this season, we couldn’t think of a more fitting Halloween costume than Thomas the Tank Engine. The Colts running back leads the league in rushing yards and touchdowns, looking like a locomotive going full steam ahead. The Colts are playing like Super Bowl contenders and Taylor is a big reason why. Just like Thomas the Tank Engine, once he gets going, there’s no stopping him.
Patrick Surtain II, Broncos CB
Costume: Prison Guard
The All-Pro cornerback is showing up to the NFL Halloween party dressed as a prison guard, complete with keys and handcuffs, because nobody in the league is better at locking down opposing players. When Surtain is in coverage, receivers are stuck doing hard time with no separation or freedom. If he’s on duty patrolling your team’s side of the field, you may as well give up, because nobody escapes his watch.
Joe Flacco, Bengals QB
Costume: Barney the Dinosaur
At 40 years old, Joe Flacco is a dinosaur in today’s NFL. Instead of fighting it, Joe Cool would embrace his advanced age and show up dressed as everyone’s favourite purple dino, Barney. He may be past his prime, but that didn’t stop the Bengals from trading for the veteran quarterback and plugging him into their starting lineup immediately. His days in the NFL may be numbered, but Flacco is going to enjoy every moment before he goes extinct.
Myles Garrett, Browns DE
Costume: The Incredible Hulk
If your team is playing the Browns, just be sure not to make Myles Garrett angry. You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry. Cleveland’s ferocious pass rusher terrorizes NFL quarterbacks on a weekly basis, making The Incredible Hulk a perfect costume. Shedding the brown and orange for some green, Garrett would probably smash the snack table like it’s a collapsing pocket.